ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
