Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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