Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
