some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How drunk are you?
Completed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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