I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
