No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
