my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
