I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
