I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
