Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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