Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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