Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
