Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
