from now on my penis is your penis
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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