My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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