so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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