i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All I want is dick and wine.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
