i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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