I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
