I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i dont even know how to be here
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
