...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We just shotgunned beers for America
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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