its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
