My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
