And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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