Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
