we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
