he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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