you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
