For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
