I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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