Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
