Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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