You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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