Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm passing your future prison.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
