Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You smell like stripper and shame
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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