we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize