We should be called the Road Head Warriors
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
