do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Me too!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
