I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Blood and glitter go together right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
