just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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