Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize