I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
