meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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