I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
