"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
