Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
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