Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
