I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
