I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found a bag of teeth...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
