I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
