Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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