Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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