oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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