Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
