Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
