i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
