just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
