so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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