Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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